Comics are strange sometimes. Here at Indie Icons we celebrate each bizarre moment. Like when Ninjak was a college kid who got his powers from a Ninjak video game and then, a man with a tiny body and enormous head tried to kill him by bringing him into the same Ninjak video game. This story sounds right up Indie Icons’ alley. Let’s see how this goes. I’m guessing not well.
Our story opens with Ninjak on the roof of a building, trying to come up with a new super hero name. The company that made the video game he got his powers from is threatening to sue Ninjak for using their character’s name and costume. What kind of sick company would try and sue someone simply for cosplaying? Acclaim. That’s who. If you don’t remember Acclaim, that’s OK. I could barely remember who they were until I realized they made Turok 2: Seeds of Evil. That game is amazing and if you own a Nintendo 64 and love fun, you need to buy that right now. So, what happened to Acclaim? This game happened to Acclaim.
It’s hard to regain your credibility after that. But, back to Ninjak. He comes up with the new identity of Black Belt. This makes sense. His outfit’s black and he’s a ninja. I will never fault a hero for picking a sensible name. After the evil that is Acclaim is established and we have a new name, it’s time for Ninjak, or Black Belt, to go do hero things. Luckily, right below the building he’s standing on, a group of rival gangs start trying to kill each other. We never actually find out who these gangs are though. They are just lovingly referred to as “Immigrant Gangs”.
Ninjak begins doing what Ninja’s do. People get kicked in the face, smacked with a wooden staff, and he even has a pair of nunchuks he uses to bruise a whole lot ankles. He is also, apparently impossible to shoot. There is no one who should ever escape this situation. 
How is he dodging that!? He’s not even moving at the end! I can accept Storm Trooper accuracy to a certain point but eventually, someone has to accidentally hit our hero right? No. No they don’t. Ninjak uses his super power of never being shot and dismantles Immigrant Gang 1 with ease. For some reason, Immigrant Gang 2 is not very happy that their rivals have just been defeated. They decide the best way to get revenge against Ninjak is to just back their car into him as hard as possible. Normally, Ninjak could just walk out of the road and be fine but, someone left their baby in the middle of the street during a gang battle and it’s right in the path of the car. The parenting in the world of Ninjak is just atrocious. Being the only responsible being in the city, Ninjak does the heroic thing and pushes the stroller to safety. What? He doesn’t do that at all? 
He just decides to cut the entire car completely in half. It’s a bit aggressive but, I’ll be honest, if I could, I would do the same exact thing. After all of that, the police finally arrive and Ninjak runs down an alley to escape being arrested for saving everyone. It’s at this point Ninjak shows off his power of undressing. His costume disappears into a cloud of green smoke and he finds himself in the clothes he was wearing before his outfit. Sure, this power doesn’t help with fighting crime but… I can’t think of anything. That’s a really useless power. Although, looking at the villain of this story, he really doesn’t need many super powers.
That my friends, is Kraniak. He is a man with a head so large, that his body literally cannot bear the weight. This requires an amazing helmet that holds his entire tiny body off the ground. It also has two enormous chicken feet on either side so he can walk. He answers to a swarm of hairy robot bugs who are not pleased that he keeps losing to Ninjak. They threaten to take away all that they have given him. I assume this means his walking helmet. I also assume it means that, the only way he could move would be to roll on his face while his body dangles helplessly from his neck. Spoiler alert. We never get to see him roll around on his face. It’s a huge letdown.
We quickly cut to Ninjak in his dorm talking to a woman wearing part of a shirt and very tight pants. This does not interest Ninjak though. He doesn’t have time for attractive women on his bed. He’s trying to play the Ninjak video game. This is his downfall. His video game decides it’s time to play him… I’m really sorry guys. I’m not proud of that pun.
A giant blue tenticle pulls him into the Ninjak video game where Kraniak is waiting for him. The entire plan centers on Kraniak raising the difficulty two levels higher than the highest “Shogun Samurai” difficulty. He’s hoping that Ninjak will fail and be killed by the numerous monsters he goes up against. He also takes away all the magic food in the game which you can use to turn the monsters against Kraniak. This is all very important to the narrative but, the best part of all this is Kraniak sitting in the most absurd attempt at a villain’s throne I have ever seen. 
His plan is quickly foiled when Ninjak begins to chop away at the black twigs holding his throne in the air. Kraniak and Ninjak begin to fall and end up coming through one of the giant monitors that line Times Square. Oh, they are also as tall as sky scrapers for some reason. Honestly, after the last Indie Icons adventure, I’m starting to believe more and more that no one in the 90s understood anything about how computers work.
Now that they are all the size of Godzilla, they just start destroying the hell out of the city. A giant purple monkey grabs a tanker truck and throws it at Ninjak. His first reaction is to grab a giant screen off the side of a building to block his face. This causes an unnaturally huge explosion and Ninjak finally realizes he should move and stop randomly destroying New York. But, not before a tiger with green tentacles grabs him and launches him miles into the sky. The more I type this the more I realize how absolutely out of hand this story has gotten at this point.
Ninjak lands in an empty construction site and decides that the only way to defeat Kraniak is to overload the game. The same game that they’re no longer in because they’re back in New York… I think. I’m actually not sure what’s reality at this point so let’s just keep going. He ties every single monster to a crane. A crane that each of them is significantly taller than. Kraniak doesn’t seem to actually realize this and freaks out. Ninjak puts the cord against a light pole and yells reboot. This sends Kraniak and his monsters to…limbo? They just kind of disappear. I don’t know anymore. Ninjak is then spit out of his computer and lands face first onto his apartment floor. He uses his magical undressing power and sits very contently as he soaks up his great, sort of, victory. Except, he forgot about the true enemy…
Acclaim! If you’ve learned anything from Indie Icons this week, its to never, ever trust anything Acclaim has ever done. Except, Turok. That game is awesome.
