Category Archives: Quotes

Choice Quotes

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Prelude to Deadpool Corps. #1

Captain America – This is a nation of laws, Deadpool.  You rebels never understood that we can’t pick and choose the rules we like.  I’m on the side of civilization.  You and your ilk stand for chaos.

Sparta U.S.A. #1

Narrator – Here in Sparta, we’re proud to be Americans.  Anything worth a darn in this life is right here in the good ol’ U.S.A.  And nowhere is that better epitomized than on the great gridiron.  Life, liberty, freedom, teamwork, family, God, hot dogs, chicks… It’s all here.

and

Narrator – Sparta’s just about the prettiest place on Earth.  Full of hard working Americans.  You’ll find no welfare cases here.

Choice Quotes

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Thor #607

Reporter 1 – He’s only a murdered if he’s responsible.  I think there’s a huge question mark over the whole thing now.

Reporter 2 – Exactly.  He’s handed himself over.  This is a matter for the courts, not task forces.  The question is… when is someone going to find the time from waging this war on American soil and go and arrest him?

Walking Dead #70

Cong. Monroe – The goatee is something I’d always wanted to try, but was frowned upon politically.

and

Cong. Monroe – I should warn you, I am known to ramble.  I don’t mean to bore you, but politicans like to talk.

X-Factor #202

Jamie Madrox – Good hand-in-hand with evil.  Or is it?  I’m returning to a country basically run by Norman Osborn.  It’s hard to have  amoral compass when every direction is north.

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Captain America #603

Narrator – Traveling on a bus from New York to Idaho… the man you would be Captain America learned a lot about the changing face of his country.  The empty houses and unemployment lines reminded him of the world of his youth.  He saw the Great Depression end as the war brought a wave of industry to America.  Now, the factories were closed, and the wars abraod made no difference… he didn’t understand that.  He remembered President Eisenhower, remembered the ideals of the ’50s… Remembered an America that had the best schools, the best worked… a great country.

Dark Avengers #14

Miss Hand – I want Norman Osborn to lead.  I want you to lead our country into a place where Americans can live peaceful, fearless lives of comfort.

DoomWar #1

Desturi leader – — and now we are secure.  All Ambassadors have been expelled.  All borders closed, all press sent packing.  All foreign nationals have been given twelve hours to leave the country, no exceptions made.

and

Press – Reaction from the world leaders has been mixed and cautious.  White House sources say that President Obama is expected to make a statement later today.

and

Desturi leader – There is no epidemic, this is classic protest behavior.

and

Black Panther – The takeover of the Wakandan government is a criminal act.  We offer you one chance to stand down and avoid bloodshed.  One chance.  If you disarm and stand down, I offer clemency and justice.  We will allow representatives of the Desturi to participate in our political process, to have a voice in council.

Incorruptible #3

Max Damage – You’re right Armadale.  This town’s a wreck.

Det. Armadale – And I still don’t know why you care.  It’s like listening to Katrina apologize for New Orleans.

Resurrection #8

Sara – Well, this is a comforting thought.  The country is in shambles, human civilization as we know it is over.  But political correctness is alive and well.

President Clinton – I can only hope, Miss Lisco.  I can only hope.

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DMZ #50

Tourist – What I mean is a truly comprehensive set of tools for citizens, all citizens, that speak to the future… to, god willing, a happier and more peaceful time.  We can do it, we can liberate the masses through information technology!

Marvel Boy: The Uranian #2

Agent Belgard- We don’t torture spies in this country, you’re thinking of your commie hellhole!

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Cinderella: From Fabletown With Love #4

Safiya – It’s just like I’ve said, sisters.  The Anglo Fables talk about equality and independence, but are they really any better than our erstwhile masters?

Siege #2

Bucky – Steve, you need this.  You want to take the country back?  You need to put on the uniform and stand up.  The world needs Captain America.

and

Hellfire – I don’t get it… why are we recording this?

Nick Fury – What I just described to you is the textbook definition of treason.  It ain’t spy games and it ain’t cutesy crap.  We are declaring war on the United States.  I want it on record it was me who did this.  I want it known it was me.

Hellfire – Like, we’re just kids under your scary influence.

Nick Fury – You are.  Prepare to be taken as prisoner of war if we fail.  Prepare to be treated as an enemy of the state.  If we do not win, and you live, that is what is coming.  All the other things we’ve been working towards, all of it means nothing if we do not do this.  Osborn has to be removed.  He is a threat to the American way of life and that’s that.

Siege: Embedded #2

Clerk – We oughta nuke ’em right outta there!  Just vaporize the whole lot of ’em!  But we ain’t gonna, and you know why?

Ben Urich – Because a nuclear attack on American soil would be unconscionable?

Clerk – Because the President of these United States — a man I did not vote for, mind you, so I don’t know why he gets any say over me and mine — does not have the guts to stand up for his people!

and

Ben Urich – Because it gets people watching.  And talking about him.  And buying his books.  Controversy creates an audience.

and

H.A.M.M.E.R. Agent – Each ship has an Osborn-approved member of the press assigned to it.

T0dd Keller – Embedded journalists.

H.A.M.M.E.R. Agent – We’re ensuring cross-network saturation.  Even if someone disagrees with your network’s style, they are still seeing the Asgard event as we intend it to be seen.

Todd Keller – This is really happening isn’t it? We’re going to invade Asgard.

H.A.M.M.E.R. Agent – We are going to invade Asgard, Mister Keller.  You are going to tell the world why it’s a good idea.

Wolverine: Weapon X #10

Melita – My mom is black and my dad’s Mexican, but they don’t care what color my dates are so long as they’re Democrats.

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Captain America: Reborn #6

Red Skull/Captain America – — A new morning in America.

Unknown Soldier #16

Moses – There are expressions that every human face in the world does the same… It doesn’t matter the language, the belief, the culture or the color of the skin.  In these expressions the whole breadth of the human race is unified.  In these we are all one.

X-Men: Forever #16

Kramer – I want my lawyer.

Dugan – What makes you think you get a lawyer?

Kramer – I know my rights.

Dugan – You’re an operative of S.H.I.E.L.D.  This is a matter of potentially global security.  You have no rights.

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Avengers vs. Atlas #1

Japanese fisherman – We are in compliance with the international whaling commission!  By boarding this ship you are in violation of our laws!

Captain America #602

Teabagger – And don’t forget your briefcase Obama!

Deadpool: Merc With a Mouth #7

Lady Deadpool – You’re supporting a government that’s appointed itself big brother, stripping away liberties, creating a fascist state “for our own good.”

DMZ #49

From LES: “By removing the nuke and instead using the idea of it as a weapon, Parco’s both commented on the nature of preemption while evoking the legendary ‘missing WMDs’ of wars gone by.”

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Barack the Barbarian #4

Bill – Ha! We’ve got the Elephant cultists on the run, Manny!

Cultist 1 – How could this happen to us?  Shouldn’t they be grateful to us for our fiscal responsibility?

Cultist 2 – Or our superior understanding of global economic and diplomatic finesse?

Cultist 3 – If we can just make it to the warehouse, we can hide under the tea bags!

and

Barack the Barbarian – It is a goddess!  But how is she also a treasure?  And what exactly… does she want from me?

Hilaria – Her name is Liberty.  And she wants you to re-light her torch.

and

Barack the Barbarian – She’s right.  A sword might help you win liberty, but it takes more than that to sustain it.

Black Panther #12

News reporter – …calling itself the Desturi have overthrown the government of Wakanda in what is being called a ‘nearly bloodless coup’.  All Ambassadors have been recalled and all foreigners have been ordered out of the country immediately…

Cinderella: From Fabletown With Love #3

Aladdin – But even so, Islam is not nearly as restrictive as you in the west might think.  In many ways, we are even more progressive than you.

Cinderella – Tell that to the pair of tourists arrested in Dubai last year for drinking orange juice in public during Ramadan.  Or what about the Afghani women jailed on charges of “illegal sexual relations” after they’d been raped by strangers?

Aladdin – That’s hardly fair.  You’re judging an entire belief system by the actions of a few extremists.

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Deadpool Team-up #897

Deadpool – This is about as fun as a Sarah Palin rally.

Marvel Boy: The Uranian #1

Uranian: Based on transmissions I have listened to, the citizenry seem gripped by xenophobia.  Likely the result of extended world war.  I was asked several times if I was a Soviet or member of the Communist Party.  The jingoism here is strange to me.

Siege #1

Norman Osborn – Asgard is in a position to threaten America and the American way of life.

Hawkeye – So is McDonald’s.  Should we invade that too?

Siege: Embedded #1

Ben Urich – Then one of Chicago’s finest put me in the back of his car.  Said they had a list of which press was allowed into the site.

Will Stern – Go America.  Go freedom of the press.

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Captain America: Who Will Wield the Shield?

President Obama – I’ll risk my reputation giving a Presidential pardon to Captain America… because frankly, the Registration Act seemed un-American to me… but until Congress changes the laws, that’s the most I can do.

The Last Days of American Crime #1

Graham – Turns out Diesel is easier on the environment.  I read that — Gospel truth.  Not that it matters much anymore — but it’s interesting.  Stuff is easier on the environment and it’s the stuff nobody uses.  Suicidal.

and

Shelby – The days of Americans getting away with prideful arrogance for simply being American — far over.  It’s the decline.  Look around you’re soaking in it.

and

Kevin Cash – Behind all your liberal posturing, when it’s time to blame a bullshit crime on an imaginary man — that fucker will always be imagined black.

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