When something catches on fire, you’re supposed to immediately smother/cover it and/pr finish it off with a fire extinguisher. What you’re not supposed to do is keep throwing stuff into the fire while wearing a nighty and continuing to live stream. All this to say is that I wasn’t surprised when the credits rolled for Captain America: Brave New World, and there were five credited writers, including director Julius Onah. New chefs kept respawning in the burning kitchen that was the screenplay for this film. Captain America: Brave New World is simultaneously Sam Wilson’s (Anthony Mackie) first cinematic outing as Captain America, a follow-up to Incredible Hulk and Eternals, and a bit of a prequel to Thunderbolts and anything the Marvel Cinematic Universe wants to do with Wolverine/the Weapon X program. It succeeds at being none of these things (Although, Harrison Ford’s Thaddeus Ross/Red Hulk is a somewhat delightful grump), has muddled visual effects, corny dialogue, and above all else, bad politics.

Captain America: Brave New World begins at the inauguration of Ross as president of the United States, which is a controversial choice thanks to his actions towards the Hulk in his solo film and to superheroes as a whole in Captain America: Civil War. But, like a good centrist, he’s ready to cross the aisle and work with the new Captain America to start a new Avengers team. Unfortunately, this plan immediately backfires when something triggers forgotten/screwed over by the United States government super soldier Isaiah Bradley (Carl Lumbly), and he attacks President Ross at a reception for world leaders centered around the adamantium discovered in “Celestial Island” in the Indian Ocean. The film follows Sam Wilson and Joaquin Torres’ attempt to clear Bradley’s name and figure out who is really behind the assassination attempt.

This plot synopsis makes it seem like Brave New World is a political thriller like the excellent Captain America: Winter Soldier, but it’s unfortunately a pale echo of the previous film. The writing (and let’s face it, marketing) team shows their hands too early, and we go from Wilson and Torres rooting around in sketchy labs in West Virginia to squabbling with fighter planes, aircraft carriers, and Celestial heads. Secondary villain Sidewinder (Giancarlo Esposito) mentions something about the CIA paying him to steal adamantium from the Japanese, but it’s brushed over for explosions, rage-outs, stale quips, and empty speeches that not even Mackie’s (And a sleep walking Sebastian Stan in one scene.) charisma can salvage.

The opening scene where Sam Wilson and Joaquin Torres fight Sidewinder and the Super Society has well-choreographed hand-to-hand action augmented by whiz bang special effects for Wilson’s Wakanda-enhanced Captain America costume, but it’s all downhill from there in the action department. The fights seem just a perfunctory part of the superhero genre than revealing anything about the characters in them although Wilson often complains about not taking the super-soldier serum while he fights foes from the Hulk’s rogues gallery. It’s fun to see Ford freak out as Red Hulk and be consumed by rage until he gets talked down by Sam Wilson’s plot-relevant background as a social worker. (Winter Soldier handled this part of his character much better.)

In keeping with the through-line of Brave New World being a Xerox of a Xerox of Winter Soldier, the film has its own (Former) Black Widow. It’s not Scarlett Johansson’s Natasha Romanov even though the performer playing her is also a Zionist: Israeli actress Shira Haas appearing as Ruth Bat-Seraph. (The character’s comic book codename Sabra and backstory as a Mossad agent don’t appear in this adaptation.) Politics aside, Bat-Seraph is a nothingburger of a character, who represents President Ross’ distrust of superheroes and love of the covert. Let’s just say she’s no Romanov, Maria Hill, or even Sharon Carter. It’s puzzling how such a controversial character survived multiple reshoots and plays no meaningful role in the film even though an American president having an Israeli secret agent as a key figure in his security detail could have led to compelling commentary on the relationship between the United States and Israel. Instead we get to see a stilted performance by an actress from a country that is currently committing genocide, who hasn’t spoken out against it.

Sometimes, Captain America: Brave New World feels like it’s actually about something, and that’s usually in scenes featuring Isaiah Bradley, who was also the best part of the Falcon and Winter Soldier TV show/six hour movie. Although, most of his interactions are responding to ageist quips from Joaquin Torres, Bradley also talks to Sam Wilson about his misgivings of going to the White House and standing with President Ross after how he was treated by the US government. He finds common ground with Wilson’s imprisonment in Captain America: Civil War, but this is immediately brushed aside by the new Captain American saying something about having a seat at the table. Ideological tension is swept aside for “there are fine people on both sides” type of rhetoric, and of course, Isaiah Bradley needing to be at the White House to kick off the plot, being benched for the rest of the movie, and not receiving any kind of recognition or reparations at the end of the film. If Brave New World has any kind of overarching theme, it’s to throw scary, traumatic, soul and society shattering things in a literal prison and get back to the status quo. In this way, it connects to one of the chief criticisms of the MCU, which is the films care more about getting to the next movie/event than telling a compelling story in the current film.

Captain America: Brave New World is truly a low point for the Marvel Cinematic Universe and is neither entertaining, thought-provoking, funny, or interesting to look at. (They did nail Sam Wilson’s Captain America costume.) Most of the film is empty spectacle a la Michael Bay’s Transformers sequels, and the whole endeavor is a waste of Anthony Mackie, Harrison Ford, Giancarlo Esposito, and Tim Blake Nelson’s talents. Maybe, Galactus should eat this universe and its cowardly politics.

Overall Verdict: 3.0