Florida Hippopotamus Cocaine Massacre (FHCM from here on out.) comes to a rip roaring, line snorting conclusion in its fourth issue. Seriously, I could read 44+ more Fred Kennedy penned, James Edward Clark drawn, and Becka Kinzie colored issues of the adventures of the Laser Drug Force fighting various random illegal substance-connected enemies, but I’ll settle for one hilarious, basically hour long animated length animated yarn for now. FHCM #4 channels night soap operas, violent 80s action schlock, Saturday morning cartoons, and just a touch of war cinema (Think Hawkeye, not Private Ryan.) to craft an epic conclusion. Kennedy and Clark throw everything but the kitchen sink at this story, and it all sticks.

Whereas the previous issues of FHCM had things like backstories, political intrigue, and even a look into the inner workings of Walt Disney World’s coked and disco ducked up theme park cousin, this comic is predominantly action with a slight twist that wouldn’t be out of place in a Steven Seagal film with an eco-friendly Ted Turner/Jane Fonda-approved twist. There are so many chases, even more gunplay, and one-liners galore. For such a silly series, Fred Kennedy gives each cast member their own sense of humor and voice from Miquel’s old school action hero charm to Agent Nebraska’s G.I. Jane crash-outs (Her origin issue is my favorite of the series.) and the cheesy earnestness of Bea, who stands up for worker rights and the Jungle Cruise style puns even while all her co-workers are senselessly gunned down around her.

And, then, there’s the literal Big Bad, Mr. Discau, who is a corpulent stand-in for every Global South dictator that the United States has propped up over the past century with plenty of Donald Trump and Walt Disney too. All he cares is making money off cocaine and controlled substances, but he’s also a disco diva who wants to make a show out of it while his bikini-clad minions are more straight to the point, Baywatch outfits aside. He openly confesses his wrongdoings in front of God, the strung-out-on-cocaine hippopotamuses, and the U.S. government, but old fashioned revenge is what takes him down. It’s so cathartic to see him get perforated after being an annoying piece of shit for four straight issues even though his amusement park and evil plans are comedy gold, especially when contrasted with Bea just trying to do her job and pay rent. Kennedy wisely winds down the evulz and monologuing and gives an epic showdown worthy of this book’s reputation.

Clark and Kinzie’s work on the visual aspects of FHCM truly make it great. Her day-glo palette and his over-the-top art style make this book a proper fever dream like some weird show on a channel that you rarely watch at 2 AM and can never find again. (This is also what makes the First Lady Laser VHS framing narrative work so well too.) There’s so much big hair, big punches, buckets of blood, sound effects, speed lines, and every cartoonist’s trick thrown into the mix in the service of telling the origin of a task force that makes ICE and the DEA look like pathetic losers. Sorry, none of y’all have hair and swagger like Miquel or karate kick action like the real Midwest princess (With apologies to Chappell Roan.) Agent Nebraska. I think classic action figure ads (Thank you Ronald Reagan and deregulation.) are also a major element of FHCM’s DNA crafting outlandish scenarios no reasonable suburb dwelling child could dream up. (It was a sad day when I learned that unfortunately the Buzz Lightyear toy couldn’t fly and didn’t include matches or explosives.) However, after their crazy antics, First Lady Laser puts them back in the toy box for some more adventures and propaganda just like the blurry photographs of the actual toys the hyperactive commercials were selling.

Florida Hippopotamus Cocaine Massacre is a bat shit crazy story that could only exist in the world of creator-owned comics. Fred Kennedy, James Edward Clark, and Becka Kinzie turn the script, art, colors, and letters up to eleven and tell a story that lives up to its incredibly memorable name, premise, and cover art. It’s the rare grindhouse movie that actually lives up to the sordid pleasures promised by its poster and is freaking hilarious too. Now, pretty please, I need a “Hippo Harder”, “Cocaine 2: Electric Boogaloo”, or a sequel with a much more clever title.

Story: Fred Kennedy Art/Letters: James Edward Clark Colors: Becka Kinzie
Story: 9.2 Art: 8.8 Overall: 9.0 Recommendation: Buy

Mad Cave Studios provided Graphic Policy with a FREE copy for review

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