Avengers Assemble! Episode 3: Oil Spill
Wonder what the Avengers do when they’re not fighting crime? Avengers Assemble! is a humorous web series bringing us a sneak peak as to what happens behind the scenes. Here’s the third episode.
Tag Archives: british petroleum
Choice Quotes
Avengers: The Children’s Crusade #1
Vision – They call themselves the Sons of the Serpent — a paramilitary sect devoted to maintaining racial and moral purity.
Patriot – They’re white supremacists.
Hawkeye – To be fair, they also hate gays and lesbians.
Patriot – And uppity women apparently.
and
Random bad guy – “As the serpent drove Adam and Eve from Eden… so shall we drive out the unfit — the inferior!”
Hulkling – You’re actually using the Bible to justify murder?
Random bad guy – What would you know about the Bible sodomite?
Brightest Day #5
Aquaman – They said it’d take weeks to find something that could withstand pressures at 5,000 feet so they could fix this leak. But they didn’t count on us, Mera.
Mera – The owners of this rig might be begging someone to clean up their reckless mess, but they won’t like our shutting down all their wells.
Aquaman – Too bad. They’re done drilling offshore. This fuel has done more damage than good to the world. It’s perpetuated war, greed and corruption.
Sparta U.S.A. #5
Narrator – Here in Sparta, we love our homes. “A Spartan’s home is his castle.” The great Ronald Reagan said that. If I’m remembering my American Patriots class right. Folks around here’d die defending their homes.
X-Men #1
Wolverine – Hell. Just when things were looking up. Al Qaeda in San Francisco.
Young Allies #2
Reed Richards – … it would have been impossible to stop him from instantly committing a terroristic act of suicide.
and
Singularity – Personally, I’m appalled. I thought we were supposed to be more sophisticated than those savages across the ocean from us.
Aquaman Sponsored By BP
DaveOMac over at Crimson Monkey has another BP/Aquaman mash-up. He figures the Blackest Night Aquaman would fit right in now with all of the dead sea life courtesy of British Petroleum.
Since this is in essence a “reverse” Aquaman, the king of the seas knows where his bank is and instead will protect oil rigs, drilling and his corporate sponsors from evil dirty hippies who are the cause of the leak the first arc focuses on.
Every issue would also end with important tips and lessons for kids. Among these lessons would be why it’s silly for their parents to protest BP as BP is fixing this mistake and continues to bring them competitive prices at the pump and contains 50% ethanol! Also kids will learn that tar balls are fun, especially when you have enough for a game of dodge ball. Sometime though these lessons will get serious and explain important things to the kids, like how the dead birds deserve their fates for being heathens and not accepting Jesus into their hearts.
I think I’d make room on my pull list for this one!
This would be great satire if the situation weren’t so sad. Please share any good charities to help out the situation in the comments.
BP Killed Aquaman, You Bastards!
This one is making the rounds in response to the oil spill by British Petroleum. Don’t worry he’ll be back as a zombie. I wonder how the Sub-Mariner is holding up?
[via Aquaman Shrine]
