Review – Jonah Hex


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I debated how much I’d review Jonah Hex, but pretty much every other reviewer has beaten it to crap, and really if you don’t head the pretty unanimous reviews, it’s your money.

Now, the movie isn’t nearly as bad as everyone says it is.  The story is ok and Josh Brolin was pretty good as the main character Jonah Hex.  The plot is pretty simple, Hex’s nemesis Quentin Turnball (played by John Malkovich) isn’t quite over the Civil War and decides to destroy Washington on the centennial.  That’s overall not too bad.  Key plot points are glanced over, like how Hex got his powers to talk to the dead (that’s covered in 30 seconds) and the movie is choppy, like it’s missing scenes.  And some scenes kept in, like Hex’s scene with some Indians, just makes no sense.

The blame for the failure of the movie is likely the studio and director.  Some of the photography just is questionable, and as stated above it feels like important scenes are missing.  The movie is already a pretty short 80 minutes.  How about adding another 30 minutes to fill those gaps?  It’s also clear the studio had a hand in the film which feels like a real bad Wild Wild West knock-off.  Did anyone see that movie?  If you did and still green lit this movie you need to be fired.

I could beat on the movie and drone on and on, but really, I think you get the point.  Save the $10 and go see something else.

Further review and grade is below.

Direction: Jimmy Haywood has the distinction of directing this piece of shit.  After working at Pixar’s animation shot he made his directorial debut with Horton Hears a Who! Some how this qualified him to make a western action movie.  Some choices are just baffling.

Acting: Josh Brolin is fantastic as the character and does quite well with what he’s given (ie. not much).  Malkovich is his usual crazy self.  Megan Fox somehow is better than her role in the Transformers as a hooker with a heart of gold.  But she’s pretty forgettable.

Plot: So did someone read a Jonah Hex comic and watch Wild Wild West?  That’s what this movie felt like, and god is that combo bad.  What could of been a great western movie has the main character with his own version of James Bond’s Q.  The giant doomsday weapon was cheesy enough, but exploding arrows, gatling guns on horses?  Baffling when the source material was strong to begin with.  But as usual, Hollywood seems to think comic books which have been going on for decades don’t have strong enough story telling.  So they need to improve it.  Whatever.

Overall: I believe Josh Brolin’s quote to MTV sums it up:

When I first read it I thought, ‘Oh my God, it’s awful.’ And then I had a moment a week later and I thought … maybe the thing to do is to do the most awful movie I can find.

Grade: C-

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