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Review – The Green Hornet

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The Green HornetIt’s been almost a week since I spent my Saturday afternoon watching the big screen adaptation of The Green Hornet.  It’s been a week and I’m still stewing at what I still think is not only one of the worst comic book movies of recent years, but in general one of the worst movies in recent memory.

There’s nothing enjoyable about this movie.  Seth Rogen plays Britt Reid (The Green Hornet) who after his father’s death decides to do some good with his life.  The movie’s lead from his party animal lifestyle to this revelation is such a shift and unbelievable it’s still not the worst plot device of the movie.  The ruminate on the horrors would be endless.  Rogen also gets double credit for being one of the writers of this craptacular movie.

Playing second fiddle to Rogen’s Hornet is Jay Chou who plays Kato.  Chou is easily the best thing of the movie.  His Kato is actually entertaining in both his moves, but personality.  There’s something likeable about him, even in this horrendous movie.

Rounding up the cast is Cameron Diaz in one of the strangest castings and waste of a big name talent.  She gets the shit role of being the potential romantic tip of the triangle between Rogen and Chou.  Also is villain Chudnofsky played by Christoph Waltz, another complete waste of talent.

The plot is just so beyond idiotic, I don’t know where to begin.  The biggest problem is this horrific story was put in place from Kevin Smith’s beyond superior original take.  But, to show off just some of the issues the movie can’t decide if it wants to be comedic or an action movie.  Instead it bounces between the two never quite deciding what it wants to do, and failing at both.

Worst of all I saw this movie in 3D.  Two tickets for $25 (which I regret spending and still want back) for 3D which is beyond shoe-horned in with piss-poor special effects “coming at you” after needless explosions.  If there was an example of how not to do 3D, this would be it.

Want to know how much more I loathed this movie?  Continue reading after the jump.

Direction:  Michel Gondry gets the unholy task of directing this wreck.  This is the same director who’s previous works of The Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind, Be Kind Rewind and The Science of Sleep are just some of the movies that show off this director’s talent.  But instead we get film making that I’d be ashamed to show off.  Instead of great fight scenes, we’re treated to what’s clearly stuntmen.  Action scenes just don’t cut it to even lowest of standards and an overall tone that can’t decide what it wants to be.  Just so, so bad, I’d be embarrassed to have my name on it.

Acting: Other than Chou the acting is laughable.  Rogen isn’t believable as the hero, Diaz seems so out of place and Waltz is an over the top villain who’s neither scary or intimidating.  The only person I remotely enjoyed was a cameo by James Franco who sets a comedic tone I wish the movie kept.

Plot: Why did the studio drop Kevin Smith’s fantastic script for this piece of shit?  The plot makes no sense, I don’t care about any of the characters and I actually wish Rogen got capped during the movie.  There’s also a rather off, I’d say fetish, with having items falling on people and killing them.  Did someone really want to just make a big budget crush film?

Overall: I want my $25 back.

Grade: F

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