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Friday Five: Worst Marvel Comics Characters

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Any company that has been around as long as Marvel is sure to have some misfires. Whether it’s the constant strain of monthly deadlines or getting into a rut or whatever, bad characters make it into print. For the most part, they disappear, but some of them pop up over and over again and a few make it to heights well above what their character deserves. Here are, in my opinion, the worst of the worst of those mistakes from Marvel. These are characters that are either bad conceptually, poorly executed or both.

Honorable mentions: Frankencastle, Squirrel Girl and any of the Great Lakes Avengers, Cosmo, Rocket Raccoon, Hellcow, Doctor Bong, any of the 1970s one-note characters (Paste-Pot Pete, Rocket Racer, Egghead, Kangaroo, Frog-man, Stilt-Man, Big Wheel, The Walrus, Hypno-Hustler), dumb rip-offs (Thor Girl), and the majority of characters that have appeared in Deadpool Team-up.

5. Beak: Beak is an ugly, mostly powerless mutant bird-guy thingy. He’s mostly a liability up until the point when he is depowered and he might actually look even stupider. His name is Barnell Bohusk. Seriously. He recently got a makeover into Blackwing and it’s a major improvement.

4. Gambit: I’ll probably catch the most flak for this one, but I’ve always thought Gambit was a bad character. He has a horrible stereotypical accent, he throws playing cards as his weapon and he’s had some of the most cliched and dull stories written about him over the years. He’s been written into a corner, such that later writers have little chance but continue him down the same dull path. X-Men comics always get worse when Gambit is around.

3. Slapstick: Do I really have to explain this one? Look at the picture. He’s a cartoonish clown who has the powers of a Looney Toons character. Really.

2. Nanny: Nanny is a giant egg-shaped “woman” who steals adults and makes them her children. Literally. Plus she’s a giant egg.

1. M.O.D.O.K.: M.O.D.O.K. is a giant head with useless little arms and legs. His name is an acronym for “Mental Organism Designed Only for Killing.” That name alone is enough to get him on the list, but he makes it to the top of the list because he’s a giant head with useless little arms and legs.

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