“Children” marks the midpoint of The Bear Season 3, and writer/director Christopher Storer tries to do a true dramedy episode balancing humor (John Cena is a Fak, a man only answers to Computer) and serious stuff (Ever closing, Marcus dealing with the passing of his mother, the constant financial struggle) However, he doesn’t quite get the balance right in this taking stock episode that happened four episodes after the previous “taking stock” episode.

Unfortunately, the cliffhanger of The Bear’s Tribune review isn’t resolved even though Richie badgers the photographer while he’s lining up his shots and asking about a duck dish that no one in the kitchen remembers how to make. However, a food critic does make an appearance as Richie sees that Ever, a fine dining restaurant run by Carmy’s mentor Andrea Terry has closed its doors. This hits him like a ton of bricks and ruins his flow when he’s ironing his shirts for service. He has a phone call with Jessica (Sarah Ramos), and they reminisce about how all “the good shit is gone”. But Jessica also tells him that Terry seems more relaxed after closing the restaurant. This brush with restaurant mortality also affects Carmy when he finds out the news and freaks out thinking about his legacy. Storer doesn’t go for melodrama, but instead has him asking Ebraheim if he’s doing a good job after Ebra drops some sandwich buns.

However, this brush with the end of a restaurant doesn’t really connect to the rest of the episode. Christopher Storer officially goes a little too far with the Faks’ antics by having them goofing off and bantering for most of the running time of the episode. It’s like he was trying to balance some of the darker themes of the episode with some lightheartedness, but the bits go on for a little too long although Matty Matheson, Ricky Staffieri, and of course, Cena are gifted physical comedians and make the most with the material. I guess they show the disconnect between the environment Carmy grew up, and how he acts now, especially when Sammy Fak lights up a blunt in the middle of the dining room before the photoshoot.

Although Storer doesn’t find a throughline to tie the episode together (Especially with another Carmy staring at a picture moment.), there are plenty of good moving parts. Billions showrunner Brian Koppelman outshines John Cena in the guest star department as Nicholas Marshall aka the Computer. He doesn’t register words unless addressed as the Computer and brings a cold objectivity to what’s going on at The Bear in everything ranging from microgreens to produce and costs and sadly, their pastry chef Marcus, who has been spending the whole episode trying to make a beautiful dessert inspired by his mother’s favorite flower, the white violet. The Computer’s cut the bullshit attitude is refreshing, but wanting to lay off Marcus is a step too far. Abby Elliott gives a passionate speech about why he is so important to The Bear flowing out of a conversation they had about his dessert, her pregnancy, and wondering about what’s really going on in Carmy’s head. Even though dessert is a small part of The Bear’s offerings and revenues, Marcus is an invaluable vibes guy as one of the few nice, competent, and level-head members of the staff. I was afraid that Christopher Storer was going to have Marcus laid off to spice up the plot, but he refuses a cheap ploy for drama.

Filled with silly antics, celebrity stunt casting, a few poignant moments, and not much plot, “Children” is the weakest half hour of The Bear Season 3 so far although I’m still smiling about the Computer, and Marcus creating art through desserts.

Overall Verdict: 6.9