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Movie Review: Ted 2

ted2_promo_posterPOSTER-1“Bigger, Better, Tedder.”

That’s what I was clamoring for since the moment the credits rolled on the first one. Now being a native New Englander myself, I really wanted to like Ted 2. No, correction I wanted to love it. Unfortunately only 20 minutes into it, I absolutely hated it. I almost walked out. However 20 more minutes in I started to like it. Like, really like it despite the plot  (Ted, upset due to the fact that the Commonwealth of Massachusetts defines him as property and not a person goes on a quest for his civil rights.) being shoe string thin. While I think it was bad choice for Seth MacFarlane to start out the movie with an excruciatingly long dance number, hey that’s Seth. What makes the first minutes so hard to watch is a boring wedding reception and the crudeness level being turned up to 11. (A scene of Ted wearing a wife beater going through bills at the dinner table is classic). Fair warning in advance, starting out it is slow going.

The first half hour of the movie is just an absolute onslaught of foul language (too much to be quite honest and I’m from the region this movie takes place) and ridiculous toilet humor peppered in with some entertaining cameos. (See the Liam Neeson cameo and you just might pee yourself it was so good.) Despite his part being ruined by the barrage of commercials, New England Patriots QB Tom Brady does a serviceable performance. (Don’t quit your day job Tom. Stick to championships) Where the movie really shines however is through heart of the core cast. John Bennett (Mark Wahlburg) Tami-Lynn (Jessica Barth), Samantha L. Jackson (Amanda Seyfried) and of course the star Ted (Seth MacFarlane) just take this totally preposterous scenario and breathe true blue life into it. They do so well they make you forget that Ted is not a real actor. Kudos to them, it’s not easy.

Of course there is tons of potty humor and 80’s references galore. Hell there’s even a scene which takes place at NY Comic Con (Which was amazing!) This movie is surprisingly Bi-Polar. (Like our New England Weather) You will go back and forth on it several times. One refreshing change is they veered away from using too many “Family Guy” style cut scenes and the movie moves along in a briskly linear fashion. However the reusing of Giovanni Ribisi’s creepy character Donny from the first movie was just groan inducing. They even used the same gag again. Same with Sam Jones reprising his role as the retired (and quite tired) Flash Gordon as John and Ted’s new buddy, was just unnecessary and felt forced. Suprisingly I did not miss Mila Kunis’ character (Lori Collins) at all as Amanda Seyfried outshined her completely. I was shocked due to the fact there was not a much more overly dramatic explanation of her absence. Nope, she divorced John. That was it.

MacFarlane and Co. do a great job of fan service to everyone who grew up in the 80’s. They even finally mention the store where John’s parents purchased Ted for him. (Child World, I used to shop there so I absolutely marked out for the reference.) Although the fact they obviously put more money, time and effort into making this sequel, it tries way too hard and falls just a bit short. This might even be history for being the first movie that has starred Morgan Freeman and not been absolutely incredible. Never thought I’d see the day.

Overall: If you like crude language, so much weed smoking, anthropomorphized talking stuffed bears, and plot holes the size of the Wells Report, this is the movie for you. If not? Well turn your brains off and (like Neil Diamond says) turn on your heartlights and give it a view anyway. You might just hate, love, then like it like I did.

Score: 7.3

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