“Everyone needs an origin sometime.”

We open up the show in a galaxy very very near. Coming to you from on location in San Diego, from deep in the heart of Comic Con it’s … Conan O’ Brien!! Conan opens with very loud reaction from the crowd to which he jokes is that a cheer or vote from them to kill him in the next installment of The Hunger Games. (Ahh forshadowing the guests, clap clap)

The rest of the monologue is rounded out with a fun not so well known fact that Comic Con has actually been around in one form or another for the past 46 years. (That is some really wild stuff, I did not know that.) He peppers in a joke about people in costume during Comic Con such as waiting in line for coffee being flanked by Darth Vader and taking a pot shot at fellow fans of The Walking Dead, by saying some could be retitled as “The Dead Who Could Stand to Do a Little More Walking”.  (Meh) The segment concludes with a weird creepy nod to Japanese Anime in which both Conan and Andy sport huge watery eyes and speak in girlish geisha voices. (ummmm. Take a look for yourself.)

(Thanks Andy for opening up some brand new nightmares)

Conan then attempts to get serious for a moment and regale us with the awe inspiring tale (picture this said in the best Stan Lee voice) of his Origin. This was actually the best part of the show as he cleverly cherry picks from all time favorite comic origins and puts his Conan spin on it.

First up is a poke at Green Lantern’s classic origin with Abin Sur crash landing in the site of Brookline, MA in 1972. However it is not a young Hal Jordan whom stumbles upon the ring, but rather a boyhood Conan who forsakes the most powerful weapon in the universe for the shiny allure of a single quarter. (Guess he just wasn’t a jewelry person then.)

Next stop is 1973 New York, in the recesses of a back alley where a mugger waits in the dark. He asks the couple and their son if they are the famous wealthy industrialists, Thomas and Martha Wayne. The man simple states “No we’re the O’Briens.” The young boy points the mugger in the direction of the next alley over. (Thanks Conan, you just gave us Batman!) As we pan out we can hear the famous two gun shots that would start the single greatest comic book legend EVER. I thought this was great.

Lastly we find ourselves transported to a remote desert in Nevada the year of 1992. On a secret base a Top Secret Government group is looking to detonate a bomb. Conan is carefree as he rides his bicycle down the path, unaware that any moment the horrible fate he’s about to confront. Poking fun at the Incredible Hulk of course, the bomb detonates and Conan wakes up in the hospital as the doctor explains he was exposed to large doses of “humor waves” and “chortle beams” in the blast. The doctor then informs Conan due to a side effect of the calamity, he is now 5,000 times funnier than Louis C.K. and Amy Schumer combined (Sure I’ll go for that) It’s at this point the skit is stopped dead in it’s tracks as Andy states to the audience that this is all b.s. and back in the day he was working on as a writer of The Simpsons and David Letterman was standing down and he just took the job. The end. Origin over. (Still better than the Ben Affleck Daredevil movie I say.)

Conan brings the audience back by saying he has an exclusive look at the new Batman vs. Superman movie which is highly anticipated next year. Let’s see..

 

Once I saw this all I could picture was Kevin Spacey as Lex Luthor in Superman Returns saying “WROOOONNNGGG!” This was truly dreadful. Maybe it was because I was a little bit bitter and expected an actual trailer with new footage being shown (This is Comic Con after all) but the cast of Saturday Night Live on their worst day couldn’t conjure up this poop fest. It was a skit of Batman vs. Superman in small claims court. The only watchable part was when they called Bane to the witness stand and you couldn’t understand what he was saying at all. Otherwise this was a fail of epic proportions.

We take a quick break and we are back with the cast of The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2. Jennifer Lawrence, Josh Hutcherson, and Liam Hemsworth (Or as I call him Thor Jr.) Conan asks them what is the craziest fan experience they’ve had so far and Josh points out a time where they were in Rome, they were behind four armed military guards and fans broke down a barrier. (Wow I hate to see what fans would do to the cast of new Fantastic Four movie then.) Josh accidentally dishes that there might be some future installments of the Hunger Games franchise and you can hear a pin drop on the internet. Conan also points out that there are rumblings of how Jennifer has quite the potty mouth and he pulls out a “Swearing is caring” jar that he will fill with one hundread dollars cash each time a swear shall fall out of her mouth. (Here I will take the time to point out that both my gf and I said watching this that Ms. Lawrence looked way too plastic. I have to say it was weird stuff.) Before they make their exit the cast assures us that the final movie will not disappoint. (Never heard that before) Bit of a long interview for my taste but I guess it gets the job done and the fanboys and gals can sigh dreamily for a moment.

Quick commercial break and we are brought our second Conan PoP! toy giveaway and tonight’s is Conan as Batman. (I am not ashamed to say that I entered twice. If a family member gets a mysterious package from PoP Vinyl he will be surprised. Even Ms. B entered.) Just very cool indeed. Crossing fingers…

(na na na na na na na na I want one!)

Finally to close out the show Conan re-introduces a concept that he came up with legendary Warner Bros. Animator (as well as a personal hero of mine) Bruce Timm. That’s right the guy who made Batman so cool in the 90’s and gave us in my opinion the best animated TV show of all time: Batman: the animated series. Timm and Conan cooked up an idea for a superhero and thus they gave birth to The Flaming C.

Flaming C’s adventures contain slapstick, action and literally toilet humor. His arch nemesis Anton Piss is trying to rule the world with technologically advanced toilets. Flaming C is able to light his left hand on fire while it is covered with an oven mitt. He can fly and has super strength. He is aided in his journeys by Intern Rachel who is a techno geek and drives a magical mini van. It’s obviously a wacky concept but it’s Conan and damn it all, it works.

Overall: While I found this episode not as enticing as the first salvo, Conan shows us his resolve runs deep. Hopefully the injection of casts of both The Walking Dead and Game of Thrones tomorrow night hit a home run. A couple bits and the long cast interview slowed it down. So while I can’t call it “Must see TV” it’s still worth a “see”. A Flaming C…

Till Tomorrow night True Believers!