Remember, when the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles teamed up with Savage Dragon and fought a giant stone gargoyle? No? Unfortunately, Indie Icons remembered for you. Let’s get strange with The Savage Dragon #2.Our tale opens, with a large amazon women walking into a police station. It turns out, she is a super hero named Dart, sent to the Chicago police department to cover Savage Dragon because, he left for New York to help solve a crime there. Two main things stick out about this scene. First, her super hero costume rides so high up her butt, there is no possible way it is comfortable or functional when fighting against criminals. There’s a high likelihood something she doesn’t want exposed, is getting exposed. Secondly, every male cop in the precinct has apparently never seen a woman before and freaks out at the sight of her. Jaws drop, coffee mugs shatter on the floor, and old timey cat calls are thrown out. I’ve never been to Chicago but, I can only assume this is accurate and old timey cat calls still happen there all the time.
She politely tells them all to go to hell. I can’t really blame her for that. She also has darts attached all over her arms and legs. I respect a hero that committed to their name gimmick. A crime comes across the police scanner, sending Dart into action which we never get to see. Instead, we finally get introduced to Savage Dragon. He is standing on a rooftop by a gargoyle with the Ninja Turtles coming up behind him. It looks like the group is all set up for a nice friendly stake out. Then, the Ninja Turtles just start beating the hell out of the Savage Dragon.
Luckily, he ripped the sleeves off of his suit so he can kick proper ass. Suns out, business casual guns out. The Ninja Turtles jump on Savage Dragon’s back and they are out for blood. These are not your friendly Saturday morning cartoon Ninja Turtles. These Ninja Turtles are not afraid to actually use there weapons. This Leonardo will stab you with his swords instead of just punching you while holding a sword. They do not play around. The only problem is, these are also the Ninja Turtles who all wear the same red masks. In honor of that, let’s play a little game. Which Turtle is the butt-head and which is the pompous jerk?If you guessed Michelangelo was the pompous jerk and Donatello was the butt-head… you might be right? I have no idea. I couldn’t figure it out. Back to the story. With the Turtles trying to kill him, Savage Dragon pulls out his comically large gun to start shooting. Leonardo quickly ends this plan and cuts the gun cleanly in two. This doesn’t matter. After being stabbed with a sai and swords, and beaten with nunchuks and staffs, Savage Dragon tosses all four of the Turtles off of the roof and into the alley below. It turns out, the Turtles thought he was the giant gargoyle monster that has been tormenting New York City recently. Savage Dragon actually takes this pretty well and forgives them for the beating they just delivered to him. He is outrageously forgiving. Like, nun level forgiveness.
If you’ve read Indie Icons before, you know I’ve never been in many of the situations I write about. This is just as true here. Surprisingly, I’ve never fought a foursome of Ninja brothers. But, if they tried to kill me, and then I threw them off a roof, I think we would have trouble being friends. Savage Dragon is a much better person than I will ever be. He agrees to help the Turtles find the giant gargoyle monster and then, he is getting the hell out of New York. Luckily, it doesn’t take long to find the creature. He was actually just hanging out a block away from them.It really makes me wonder how Savage Dragon is a cop in Chicago because, his detective skills seem very poor. I can’t imagine that thing is too hard to see when it’s flying around the city. Another fight quickly ensues. The Ninja Turtles recklessly jump on the monster and just start stabbing away at it. Savage Dragon apparently likes this strategy. He jumps on the gargoyles arm and starts punching it violently in the wrist. The creature is very annoyed by this and casually throws him away. The Turtles continue punching but, they can’t seem to break through the gargoyles hard exterior. It also breaths fire randomly, which is pretty cool. All of this begins to annoy Savage Dragon. He just wants to go home. So, he one punches the entire monster into rubble, making the Ninja Turtles look pretty pathetic in the process.Leonardo tries to explain to Savage Dragon, that the reason there was a giant stone gargoyle flying around is because of magic. Savage Dragon thinks this is stupid and doesn’t even pretend to believe what he’s saying. Considering he’s a muscular dragon cop who just fought with four talking turtles that know ninjutsu, it’s really strange he finds magic hard to believe. While this is all happening, a scantily clad woman, who may be senior citizen, is watching creepily from around the corner. I wish I could describe her any other way but her large head of spiky gray hairs leads me to believe she’s old. But, her gravity defying bosom says otherwise. I’ll let you guys take a look and decide for yourself.The Ninja Turtles begin trying to figure out where the creature came from. Savage Dragon doesn’t care. He just want to head back to Chicago. They say their goodbyes and Savage Dragon goes on his way, happy that he got to punch a statue to death and even happier to be heading to his own bed. But, before we can celebrate too much, we quickly cut to a farm in DeKalb, Illinois. A young boy is knocking on the door but, no one seems to be answering. He opens the door to see if anyone’s home……and sees a large puddle of blood. Judging by the rotting corpse, whoever is in that closet is doing something they’re not supposed to. Why can’t Indie Icons ever end nicely?